1. February 2008 by Amal.

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!”

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”

Management Lesson: “First thing first, Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.”

Posted in Management, Humour | Print | 3 Comments »

20. January 2008 by Amal.

Have we ever thought of our dream place to work? I am sure most of us will agree to following qualifiers as our dream place:

• Define your own working hours
• decide your own salary
• elect & select your own boss
• decide your annual business/work goals & objectives
• you have say in key strategic decisions
• compulsory off of three weeks
• No rules & policies
• major decisions are by consensus (which means senior mgmt have least say in critical decisions)
• You know how much your boss (and his/her boss…) is earning

Though we all will agree to above mentioned points, most of us will consider this a dream, unless we know about Semco. Yes, there is an organization ‘Semco’ in São Paulo, Brazil, which follows above mentioned principles.

Semco doesn’t have any organization rules & policies. You decide your salary while joining the company. You are offered blank offer letter, where you write your own salary. You decide your working hours. There are no receptionist. One who arrives late, sit at the reception desk. Bosses are selected/elected by subordinates. Critical decisions are taken by majority. Semco had to build new manufacturing plant, and they decided by majority, which was dominated by workers preference over senior management preference. Salaries are not kept secret. Any employee can walk-in to payroll department and inquire about salaries (be it CEO or boss or peer).

Yes, that is Semco, established by Antonio Semler in 60’s and taken to scalable heights by Ricardo semler 1980 onwards. Ricardo Semler has transformed Semco from a family established business to the ‘Semco’ which is known today.

Ricardo Semler has written ‘Maverick’, explaining the journey from hard-core centralize decision making company to real empowered, employees driven company. What it does to build companies run by employees, one which had sustained several economic downturn, recession and still remain in the business successfully. Also it explains, how a company can still be profitable and still run by employees in true sense. How in a unionized driven market, Semco has instill confidence in the employees such that there aren’t any union influence. Semler even went to the extent, establishing satellite companies (run by there ex-employees) as separate company.

Overall, a must read book for mid-level, top level executives, enterprenuers to understand at end of day its not only numbers matters. What matters most is how you build a company driven by employees, on trust, confidence. Where nobody is indispensable.

Few sites to be browsed upon for further readings:

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricardo_Semler
• http://www.inc.com/articles/2004/03/7dayweekend.html (Another book ‘7 day weekend’ by Ricardo Semler)
• http://www.team-wise.co.uk/resource/ricardo_semler_maverick.htm
• http://www.profitadvisors.com/maverick.shtml
• http://dpsinfo.com/essays/maverick.html
• Semco website: http://semco.locaweb.com.br/en/

Posted in Books | Print | 1 Comment »

15. January 2008 by Amal.

The Best “Out-Of-Office” E-Mail Auto-Replies :

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position.

2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I 

was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

4: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you end me until I 

return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted 

in the order it was received.

5: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 

ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message..!!!

6: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to 

deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.’
    ( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many individuals 

did this over and over ).

7: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are 

currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8: Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by our PC for my 

response.

9: Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me 

any messages…:-)

10: I’ve run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY…, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

11: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I 

return, please refer to me as ‘ Loretta ‘ instead of ‘ Steve ‘

Posted in Humour | Print | 3 Comments »